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avatar WeirdBiscuit 1 year.ago

Why are pedophiles rude?

Because they are fucking assholes

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Looking for a natural mood booster? Science agrees: laughter truly is medicine for the soul! Whether you need a quick pick-me-up, an icebreaker for awkward moments, or just want to spread joy, corny jokes are your secret weapon.

In this curated list, we’ve compiled the best dad-approved one-liners, groan-worthy puns, and cheeky quips guaranteed to deliver belly laughs. Share these crowd-pleasing jokes at work, family dinners, or parties—no prescription needed!

funny dad jokes

funny dad jokes
1. You know why a grouping of crows is called a murder?

Because any time you have a bunch of crows in one place, that's probable caws

2. My sex life is like a Ferrari.

I don’t have a Ferrari.

3. After landing in Bucharest I went to the Exchange office…

I approached the attractive girl behind the counter. She said “You want Romanian Leu?” “Yes please..” I answered, “… but I need some cash first.”

4. I Came up with a Scheme to Make Money from the Police

I get a bunch of Edgar Allan Poe books and rent them out. Its Poe Lease

5. Simpsons Joke

In The Simpsons, there is a shop is called "Sneed's Feed & Seed", where feed and seed both end in the sound "-eed", thus rhyming with the name of the owner, Sneed. The sign says that the shop was "Formerly Chuck's", implying that the two words beginning with "F" and "S" would have ended with "-uck", rhyming with "Chuck". So, when Chuck owned the shop, it would have been called "Chuck's Fuck and Suck".

6. Finally, the wife and I decided we don't want to have any children.

We will be telling them tonight at dinner.

7. Why isn't there a pregnant Barbie doll?

Ken came in another box

8. Did you hear about the guy who invented the knock-knock joke?

He won the “no-bell” prize.

9. “Why do birds suddenly appear, every time you are near?”

“I don’t know man, i’m not an ornithologist.”

10. I bought a wooden whistle, but it wooden whistle.

Then I bought a steel whistle, but it steel wooden whistle.

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